34 Parenthood Rules That the Books Don't Tell You (but You Really Need to Know)

By Denise Stirk
Flickr user Jason Devaun

During the course of adding a child into their lives, there is always a time in which new parents think, "Well, why didn't anyone warn me about this?" Sure, we get oodles of really important information from all those parenting books that we study up on prekids, but some of the most crucial lessons I've learned about raising children have come from experience in the field. So ditch the baby instruction manuals and check out some of the need-to-know rules that you probably won't get from any parenting books.

01
If a milk-filled sippy cup is lost, drop everything and find it.

If a milk-filled sippy cup is lost, drop everything and find it.

Source: Instagram user mali_loves_oils

02
Never, ever leave a sharpie unattended.
Instagram | kuenne12

Never, ever leave a sharpie unattended.

03
Always assume it's poop.

Always assume it's poop.

Source: Instagram user aylarose19

04
If it's annoying at the store, it will be even more so at home.

If it's annoying at the store, it will be even more so at home.

Source: Instagram user amy_magpie

05
Never serve rice (or shredded cheese or crackers) if you've just vacuumed the floor.
Instagram | mikepezy

Never serve rice (or shredded cheese or crackers) if you've just vacuumed the floor.

06
If he loves a certain food today, the same may not hold true for tomorrow.
Instagram | syrkoski

If he loves a certain food today, the same may not hold true for tomorrow.

07
The moment one child smiles is always the same moment another one blinks.
Flickr user abbybatchelder

The moment one child smiles is always the same moment another one blinks.

08
Locking the door is much easier than explaining what Mommy and Daddy are doing behind it.
Flickr user littlebiglens

Locking the door is much easier than explaining what Mommy and Daddy are doing behind it.

09
Put folded laundry away immediately — it's easier than refolding it.
Instagram | englandorbust

Put folded laundry away immediately — it's easier than refolding it.

10
The later you go to bed at night, the earlier your child will wake up in the morning.

The later you go to bed at night, the earlier your child will wake up in the morning.

Source: Flickr user Jundy Tiu

11
Always carry lollipops.

Always carry lollipops.

Source: Instagram user hcolbath

12
Don't expect your child to take you seriously when you say, "Just this once."
Instagram | cperezaraujo

Don't expect your child to take you seriously when you say, "Just this once."

13
Always kiss a boo-boo (even if there is no mark).
Instagram | bucer28

Always kiss a boo-boo (even if there is no mark).

14
Never leave scissors accessible.

Never leave scissors accessible.

Source: Instagram user hotspot915

15
The moment you've realized your child has been quiet is a moment too late.

The moment you've realized your child has been quiet is a moment too late.

Source: Instagram user macie_day

16
"The Clean-Up Song" only works with one percent of children.
Instagram | creativelylori

"The Clean-Up Song" only works with one percent of children.

Source: Instagram user shortykddid

17
Traveling spouses and sick tots go hand in hand.
Instagram | smillshazel

Traveling spouses and sick tots go hand in hand.

18
When your child says he "feels sick," you have 1.6 seconds to jump to action.
Instagram | bigpapa_chef

When your child says he "feels sick," you have 1.6 seconds to jump to action.

19
The day you leave without any extra diapers is the day you will need them the most.

The day you leave without any extra diapers is the day you will need them the most.

Source: Flickr user Thorsten Trotzenberg

20
If you say something bad about someone, your toddler will find an opportunity to tell that person.

If you say something bad about someone, your toddler will find an opportunity to tell that person.

Source: Flickr user Simon Blackley

21
When it comes to your children, googling "it" never helps.

When it comes to your children, googling "it" never helps.

Source: Flickr user Ray_from_LA

22
Your child's nasty cold will magically cure itself as soon as he steps into the doc's office.

Your child's nasty cold will magically cure itself as soon as he steps into the doc's office.

Source: Flickr user Brett Neilson

23
Always pretend to eat the play food your child hands you.

Always pretend to eat the play food your child hands you.

Source: Flickr user abbamouse

24
As far as birthdays are concerned, there must always be cake.

As far as birthdays are concerned, there must always be cake.

Source: Instagram user cakesbyveda

25
Just because she refuses to try going potty doesn't mean she doesn't have to go.

Just because she refuses to try going potty doesn't mean she doesn't have to go.

Source: Flickr user Fairy Heart ♥

26
More Cheerios will end up on the floor than in their bellies.

More Cheerios will end up on the floor than in their bellies.

Source: Instagram user jhalas3

27
The later you are for something, the slower your kids will move.

The later you are for something, the slower your kids will move.

Source: Flickr user Michael Newton

28
The pricier the purchase, the greater likelihood it will get lost.
Instagram | vic_torious_

The pricier the purchase, the greater likelihood it will get lost.

29
Never wear white after having children.
Instagram | orangepancakes

Never wear white after having children.

30
If you need to run to the store really quick, don't bring your child.
Flickr user jlarnos

If you need to run to the store really quick, don't bring your child.

Source: Instagram user balmainbug

31
Spend more for fun shapes — they taste better.

Spend more for fun shapes — they taste better.

Source: Flickr user Bexx Brown-Spinelli

32
Bunk beds are great in theory and bad in reality.

Bunk beds are great in theory and bad in reality.

Source: Flickr user {just jennifer}

33
"Five more minutes" means anything but five more minutes.

"Five more minutes" means anything but five more minutes.

Source: Flickr user David Goehring

34
The minute you figure parenting out, everything changes.
Flickr user snapeverything

The minute you figure parenting out, everything changes.